Fucking loser.
What an absolutely pathetic effort today.
Ok, there's this loop that I can take from my house, about 9 miles long. Hilly, but...short. My plan today was really, really easy...two laps, about an hour of riding. I did one lap, and stopped.
Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck! Arrgh! I keep thinking of that Lance quote - "Pain is temporary, quitting is forever". My knee hurt a little, nothing that would have gotten worse, I don't think. And when I first set out, I was not feeling good at all...which was totally my fault. I didn't warm up one bit. I spun for about 2/10 of a mile, and then tried to go hard up a hill. One mile in, and I'm wondering why my heart rate is 160, and I'm only going 12.2 mph. Got over the hill, soft pedaled down the other side, wasn't close to being recovered by the end. On it went, for about 4 miles...finally started feeling better, but just wanted to go home at that point. Plus, there's kind of an odd phenomenon here...the wind goes all the way around the loop. If there's a tailwind, there's a tailwind all the way around. And 90% of the time, there is a tailwind, which I was kind of counting on today. But today, there was a headwind. Was it a tough headwind, you ask? Nope. It was probably about 8 mph. But that was enough to make me sis out.
Lots of healthy cooking is going to happen tonight. That should help. Also, sleep. I only got about 4 hours last night - no good whatsoever. I'm hoping for at least 7 tonight.
Ok, that's all I got. If I'm home early enough tomorrow, with good enough weather, 30 miles. If not, perhaps the gym?
I'm so goddamn sick of being fat.
Sunday, March 30, 2008
Saturday, March 29, 2008
34 days to go
I don't feel great. I wonder why...could it be the pork roll and cheese sandwich I had for dinner (smart move, when you're training)? Could it be the 54 miles I turned in today? Ah, at least I ate a healthy breakfast and lunch. Still no gym, though, so still no letting myself buy bike schwag. And I need me some shwag (sch, or sh? Neither really looks right), so I better get my fat ass in the gym tomorrow.
Ok, rode down to Bike Haven and back today, 54 miles, 3 hours, 28 minutes. 12 mph tailwind on the way down, 12 mph headwind on the way back. What I wouldn't give for a reverse of this scenario - I'd much rather punch my way through the wind when I feel strong; of course, maybe it's better this way. It's definitely not more fun.
I have more to say on the subject, but I'm pretty whipped, and still need to clean off my bike, and get a shower, so...f off.
Ok, rode down to Bike Haven and back today, 54 miles, 3 hours, 28 minutes. 12 mph tailwind on the way down, 12 mph headwind on the way back. What I wouldn't give for a reverse of this scenario - I'd much rather punch my way through the wind when I feel strong; of course, maybe it's better this way. It's definitely not more fun.
I have more to say on the subject, but I'm pretty whipped, and still need to clean off my bike, and get a shower, so...f off.
Friday, March 28, 2008
35 Days
Ok. I have 35 days left, including today, to get ready for the 3 State 3 Mountain Challenge. I thought it was 37, but according to the ticker on the official website, it's 35. So be it. So far, it's not going so well...I have not cleaned my diet up at all; well, maybe I drink a little less soda, and a little more water. But I haven't cut out the junk food at all, and the situation is getting dire. I'm at 242.6 lbs today. I figure I'll die on one of those mountains if I'm a gram over 230. It'll be easy to lose that kind of weight, so long as I'm not a complete asshole. Of course...that begs the question...
What if I'm a complete asshole?
And that's one of the great things about this challenge...I really get to find some things out about myself. Am I an asshole? Do I have the very low level of willpower I need to pull this off? Because, really, it's not going to take that much. Maybe 10 hours on the bike a week, another 3 or 4 in the gym, and some very simple, basic diet adjustments, and I'm good to go. Not that hard. Not that hard at all.
Ok, 35 days. I'll be realistic, and say I'll be on the bike, or in the gym, 80% of those days. That means 28 days, on the bike, or in the gym. Thank god I don't have kids, right? And the lovely Kate is in LA for the next 6 weeks, so no excuses based on time, unless work gets in the way. But that's why I budgeted out those 7 days. Getting the proper rest is going to take still more discipline and organization, as well, but said rest is of paramount importance to just being able to do something like this, and you lose more weight when you sleep enough, even given the same effort. It's scientifically proven. Ask anybody.
Oh god, do I hate the gym, though. My core is, as Stanhope says, soft and doughy. Go ahead, poke it. It'll jiggle. I've taken some pics of topless Rog, for a bit of before and after, but mainly for comedic effect...they'll be posted in late April. Consider yourself warned. I am giving myself an inducement, a carrot on a stick, if you will...I'm not allowing myself to buy anything until I go to the gym. Will I go today? No. I'm cleaning my tastefully decorated townhouse.
I'm not even going to detail what I've eaten today. It's pathetic.
Hey, there's other things going on in the world...Floyd Landis' appeal is being heard by CAS as we speak. Anybody know anything about that? I wonder why the cloak of silence this time around...is it a CAS regulation? Did Floyd realize how much the open court hurt him, public opinion wise? Either way, I think while an open court is best for everyone in general, for Floyd specifically, this is the better option. He has none of Lance Armstrongs ability to positively control his public image.
Good luck, Floyd, even if winning means you have to ride for Rock Racing.
What if I'm a complete asshole?
And that's one of the great things about this challenge...I really get to find some things out about myself. Am I an asshole? Do I have the very low level of willpower I need to pull this off? Because, really, it's not going to take that much. Maybe 10 hours on the bike a week, another 3 or 4 in the gym, and some very simple, basic diet adjustments, and I'm good to go. Not that hard. Not that hard at all.
Ok, 35 days. I'll be realistic, and say I'll be on the bike, or in the gym, 80% of those days. That means 28 days, on the bike, or in the gym. Thank god I don't have kids, right? And the lovely Kate is in LA for the next 6 weeks, so no excuses based on time, unless work gets in the way. But that's why I budgeted out those 7 days. Getting the proper rest is going to take still more discipline and organization, as well, but said rest is of paramount importance to just being able to do something like this, and you lose more weight when you sleep enough, even given the same effort. It's scientifically proven. Ask anybody.
Oh god, do I hate the gym, though. My core is, as Stanhope says, soft and doughy. Go ahead, poke it. It'll jiggle. I've taken some pics of topless Rog, for a bit of before and after, but mainly for comedic effect...they'll be posted in late April. Consider yourself warned. I am giving myself an inducement, a carrot on a stick, if you will...I'm not allowing myself to buy anything until I go to the gym. Will I go today? No. I'm cleaning my tastefully decorated townhouse.
I'm not even going to detail what I've eaten today. It's pathetic.
Hey, there's other things going on in the world...Floyd Landis' appeal is being heard by CAS as we speak. Anybody know anything about that? I wonder why the cloak of silence this time around...is it a CAS regulation? Did Floyd realize how much the open court hurt him, public opinion wise? Either way, I think while an open court is best for everyone in general, for Floyd specifically, this is the better option. He has none of Lance Armstrongs ability to positively control his public image.
Good luck, Floyd, even if winning means you have to ride for Rock Racing.
Tuesday, March 18, 2008
Monday and Tuesday
Ok, Mondays stats:
246 lbs (you fat fuck)
The menu wasn't pretty. A bagel, toasted and buttered, a turkey and provolone sub, small, and pizza. About 1.5 liters of water, and some lemonade. I was kind of tired, big suprise, the way I ate, right? But I got some time in the saddle. 20 of the most pathetic miles you'll ever see, which was to be expected after a sedentary, junk food (Wendys!) laden month and a half. It was really pathetic, draggingmy fat ass over the little bitty rollers on rt 34. And while the new Dura-Ace stuff was very nice, the 11-23 cassette was killing me. But you gotta start somewhere, and its going to hurt when you do. At this point, pain is good.
Tuesday:
243.8 lbs
Gym day! Its still early, and I'll update it throughout the day. I'll tell you this - I am dreading going to the gym. Core work on the worlds softest core.
The menu so far is off to a much better start. Slow cooked, steel cut organic oatmeal, with a tablespoonful of raw honey, and a scoop of hemp protein powder, a handful of Gary Null super vitamins, half a glass of lemonade, and some water. An organic apple. Some pizza (I wanted a turkey sandwich, but the deli was closed!).
More to come.
246 lbs (you fat fuck)
The menu wasn't pretty. A bagel, toasted and buttered, a turkey and provolone sub, small, and pizza. About 1.5 liters of water, and some lemonade. I was kind of tired, big suprise, the way I ate, right? But I got some time in the saddle. 20 of the most pathetic miles you'll ever see, which was to be expected after a sedentary, junk food (Wendys!) laden month and a half. It was really pathetic, draggingmy fat ass over the little bitty rollers on rt 34. And while the new Dura-Ace stuff was very nice, the 11-23 cassette was killing me. But you gotta start somewhere, and its going to hurt when you do. At this point, pain is good.
Tuesday:
243.8 lbs
Gym day! Its still early, and I'll update it throughout the day. I'll tell you this - I am dreading going to the gym. Core work on the worlds softest core.
The menu so far is off to a much better start. Slow cooked, steel cut organic oatmeal, with a tablespoonful of raw honey, and a scoop of hemp protein powder, a handful of Gary Null super vitamins, half a glass of lemonade, and some water. An organic apple. Some pizza (I wanted a turkey sandwich, but the deli was closed!).
More to come.
Sunday, March 16, 2008
A New Beginning
No, not as in a Star Wars new beginning. Yesterday I signed up for the 3-States 3-Mountains Challenge. 100 miles, from Tennessee to Georgia to Alabama and back to Tennessee. It takes place in about six weeks, on May 3rd; so for the next few weeks, this is going to be kind of a training log blog.
Now, I'm in awful shape; without a doubt, the worst shape of my adult life, which is going to make getting in shape for this ride a real challenge. Which is exactly what I need; I need a challenge, something to motivate me. Without that challenge, I'll just keep getting fatter and fatter, as I slowly but surely become one with the couch. The way I feel now is unacceptable, and this ride is going to force me to do something about it. I also need something like this just because I've become something of a hermit. The lovely Kate spends the weekends at my place when she's able, I hang out with my good friend Mike Massimo every couple weeks; outside of that, its go to work, come home, don't bother me. Sammy (my macaw), is my constant companion, which is fine by me, but I probably need more human interaction than that.
Ok, thats enough for now... Over the next few weeks, I'll be detailing what I eat, how much I train, as well as what I weigh. This should be fun.
Now, I'm in awful shape; without a doubt, the worst shape of my adult life, which is going to make getting in shape for this ride a real challenge. Which is exactly what I need; I need a challenge, something to motivate me. Without that challenge, I'll just keep getting fatter and fatter, as I slowly but surely become one with the couch. The way I feel now is unacceptable, and this ride is going to force me to do something about it. I also need something like this just because I've become something of a hermit. The lovely Kate spends the weekends at my place when she's able, I hang out with my good friend Mike Massimo every couple weeks; outside of that, its go to work, come home, don't bother me. Sammy (my macaw), is my constant companion, which is fine by me, but I probably need more human interaction than that.
Ok, thats enough for now... Over the next few weeks, I'll be detailing what I eat, how much I train, as well as what I weigh. This should be fun.
Monday, March 3, 2008
RIP Jeff Healey
I wasn't the biggest fan of Jeff Healeys music. It wasn't because of his songwriting, rather the genre always came off as a little limited to me, whether it was Healey, Stevie Ray, Clapton, or BB King. But Healey was a hell of a player.
Blind. Self-taught. Astonishing in its own right. But he was actually really good, and deserved whatever fame he had found; he was no gimmick. More importantly, he was something that I strive for - capable. Capable of overcoming, to an extent that makes me feel ashamed for every time I whinged about not making an effort, for whatever stupid reason. Too cold to go for a bike ride. Too tired to practice. Man, what bullshit. Jeff Healey is...was...an inspiration, and I'm sorry he's gone. I just read his last three albums were jazz, instead of the blues-rock I had known him for. I'll have to check some of it out.
You've earned your peace, Jeff. Rest well.
Blind. Self-taught. Astonishing in its own right. But he was actually really good, and deserved whatever fame he had found; he was no gimmick. More importantly, he was something that I strive for - capable. Capable of overcoming, to an extent that makes me feel ashamed for every time I whinged about not making an effort, for whatever stupid reason. Too cold to go for a bike ride. Too tired to practice. Man, what bullshit. Jeff Healey is...was...an inspiration, and I'm sorry he's gone. I just read his last three albums were jazz, instead of the blues-rock I had known him for. I'll have to check some of it out.
You've earned your peace, Jeff. Rest well.
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